I had a series of bizarre dreams last night.
First dream, I and my passel of non-existent siblings got mistaken for… some branch of the Royal Family, and spent about half of the dream pretending to be the children of the Duchess of something. Even though you’d think the Duchess of something would have recognised her own children. Eventually, naturally, we got found out, and I had to do a lot of stuttering explaining for why I was pretending to be her daughter, and stumbling over addressing her as marm-as-in-arm or ma’am-as-in-ham, and was fairly sure I was going to be arrested for impersonating a member of the Royal Family and accused of shoving the real ones into a closet somewhere. But I wasn’t. And then the Queen showed up, and she was very sharp old lady a la Judi Dench, and somehow I then ended up walking down Oxford Circus with the Queen and my mum, and we went into a record shop, and I bought velvet shoes with curly toes.
Second dream, I was in a production of Les Mis which apparently… had never had any rehearsals before, because all the scenes were massively out of order, and it was only my previous knowledge of the play which meant I got my cues at all. I was playing Javert, which was awesome, but I hadn’t been mic’d, so I was trying to project all these low notes and failing, and for some reason, during ‘Stars’, it was like the stage had been turned into a trampoline, or else gravity was suddenly one sixth the usual, because I was bouncing all over the place and trying to maintain a suitable gravitas whilst doing so. Which was difficult. And then halfway through, even though there was an audience, I realised that it actually was a rehearsal, because half the cast wasn’t costumed, and blocking hadn’t been finalised. And some of my castmates would play this game of, like, throwing themselves on me and stuff and trying to get my composure to break, because I was doing a Javert Stern and Unamused face, and was… apparently onstage during the entire production. Just planted off to one side with my chin up and my hands behind my back.